Physical abuse 

Is one of the most easily identified types of abuse. It involves the use of physical violence, or threats of it, to maintain power over an individual. Because of this, survivors are afraid and uncertain when more abuse will occur. This often reinforces the regular use of other, more subtle, types of abuse. 

You might be experiencing physical abuse if your partner has or repeatedly does any of the following abusive behaviors:

• Pull your hair or punch, slap, kick, bite, choke, or smother you.
• Forbid or prevent you from eating or sleeping.
• Use weapons against you, including firearms, knives, bats, or mace.
• Prevent you from contacting emergency services, including medical attention or law enforcement.
• Harm your children or pets.
• Drive recklessly or dangerously with you in the car or abandon you in unfamiliar places.
• Force you to use drugs or alcohol, especially if you have a history of substance abuse.
• Trapping you in your home or preventing you from leaving.
• Throw objects at you.
• Prevent you from taking prescribed medication or deny you necessary medical treatment.

Emotional abuse

Includes non-physical behaviors that are meant to control, isolate, or frighten someone. These behaviors are often more subtle and hard to identify but are just as serious as other types of abuse.

You may be in an emotionally- or verbally-abusive relationship if your partner attempts to exert control by:

• Calling you names, insulting you, or constantly criticizing you.
• Acting jealous or possessive and refusing to trust you
• Isolating you from family, friends, or other people in your life because it makes someone easier to control.
• Monitoring your activities with or without your knowledge, including demanding to know where you go, who you contact, and how you spend your time.
• Attempting to control what you wear, including clothes, makeup, or hairstyles.
• Humiliating you in any way, especially in front of others.
• Threatening you, your children, your family, or your pets (with or without weapons).
• Damaging your belongings, including throwing objects, punching walls, kicking doors, etc.
• Blaming you for their abusive behaviors.
• Telling you that you’re lucky to be with them and that you’ll never find someone better.

Technology-facilitated abuse

Technology-facilitated abuse, also known as online abuse, is the use of technology, image-based sexual abuse (IBSA), sextortion, intimate partner surveillance, Internet of Things abuse, and online spaces (e.g. social media) to bully, harass, stalk, intimidate, or control a partner. This behavior is often a form of verbal or emotional abuse conducted online.

Examples of technology-facilitated abuse

• Telling you who you can or can’t follow, or be friends with on social media.
• Sending you negative, insulting, or threatening messages or emails.
• Using social media to track your activities.
• Insulting or humiliating you in their posts online, including posting unflattering photos or videos.
• Sending, requesting, or pressuring you to send unwanted explicit photos or videos, sexts, or otherwise compromising messages.
• Stealing or insisting on being given your account passwords.
• Constantly texting you or making you feel like you can’t be separated from your phone for fear that you’ll anger them.
• Looking through your phone or checking up on your pictures, texts, and phone records.
• Using any kind of technology (such as spyware or GPS in a car or phone) to monitor your activities.
• Using smart home technology, smart speakers, or security cameras to track your movements, communications, and activities.
• Creating fake social media profiles in your name and image, or using your phone or email to send messages to others pretending to be you, as a way to embarrass or isolate you.

Things to consider when dealing with technology-facilitated abuse

• You never have to share your passwords.
• You don’t have to send any explicit pictures, videos, or messages that you’re uncomfortable sending (“sexting”).
• Sexting can have legal consequences: nude photos or videos of someone under the age of 18 could be considered child pornography, which is illegal to own or distribute.
• It’s okay to turn off your phone or not respond to messages right away. You have the right to your privacy. (Be sure that the people who might need to reach you in an emergency still can.)
• Save or document threatening messages, photos, videos, or voicemails as evidence of abuse.
• Don’t answer calls from unknown or blocked numbers; your abuser may try calling you from another line if they suspect that you’re avoiding them. Find out if your phone company allows you to block numbers (and how many, if so).
• Once you share a post or message, it’s no longer under your control. Abusive partners may save or forward anything you share, so be careful sending content you wouldn’t want others to see.
• Know and understand your privacy settings. Social media platforms allow users to control how their information is shared and who sees it. These settings are often customizable and may be found in the privacy section of the website. Know that some apps may require you to change your privacy settings in order to use them.
• Be mindful when checking-in places online, either by sharing your location in a post or posting a photo with distinguishable backgrounds.
• Ask your friends to always seek permission from you before posting content that could compromise your privacy. Do the same for them.
• Avoid contact with your abuser in any capacity, through technology, online, or in person. Consider changing your phone number if the abuse and harassment don’t stop.

Stalking

Occurs when someone watches, follows, or harasses you repeatedly, making you feel afraid or unsafe, and may occur from someone you know, a past partner, or a stranger. This can include different types of abuse. 

Stalking can look like:

• Showing up at your home or workplace unannounced or uninvited.
• Sending you unwanted texts, messages, letters, emails, or voicemails.
• Leaving you unwanted items, gifts, or flowers.
• Calling you and hanging up repeatedly or making unwanted phone calls to you, your employer, a professor, or a loved one.
• Using social media or technology to track your activities.
• Spreading rumors about you online or in person.
• Manipulating other people to investigate your life, including using someone else’s social media account to look at your profile or befriending your friends in order to get information about you.
• Waiting around at places you spend time.
• Damaging your home, car, or other property.
• Hiring a private investigator to follow or find you as a way of knowing your location or movements.

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